As an update to yesterday’s post on going overboard on my daughter’s birthday parties. I have to say… I’m a little annoyed today.
A friend of mine made a few comments to me yesterday, after she read yesterday’s blog. In a round-about way, she was saying that everyone knows that I am a single mother and that I don’t have to keep trying to have these amazingly extravagant parties for my daughter and even went as far as to say that I’m doing her a disservice by doing so. Her daughter wasn’t invited to Kirstyn’s birthday parties the past couple of years (they aren’t the same age and my Kirstyn doesn’t have that much in common with her, so chose other friends to go). She said that it hurts the feelings of others who can’t go and celebrate with us and even makes some of the other kids feel disappointed that they don’t get the same kind of parties. THEN to follow that up. She had the nerve to follow that up with the age old, ‘You don’t have to make up for the fact that her Dad isn’t really in the picture.”
OK.. Now let me get this off my chest, because I know this person will read this blog today and I know you will know I am talking about you. Even though I didn’t have the balls to say it then, because I do count you as a friend, I’m saying it now. You are WAY off course here! I felt completely railroaded with this conversation yesterday. While I generally have no problem sticking up for other people, or something that I full heartedly believe in, I often have a hard time in sticking up for myself, so I walked away, keeping my mouth shut and avoiding the confrontation that I am sure would have ensued. I will be nice and not give out too many personal details about you, so that others also know who you are, because just you knowing is enough.
First… Kirstyn is very bright and works very hard in school every day, even goes to an elite school in the area, to which she had to apply to get into. So I feel that going a little farther for her sometimes, is a good thing, to show that her efforts are rewarded. Second, the fact that we have these parties that are cool and the kids love coming to them, isn’t necessarily due to the amount of money I spend on them. It’s more due to the planning and connections I have in putting them together. I may have a lot of really cool things going on at really cool places, but I do my research and I make sure to get the best deal and most of all, I do have quite a few connections in lots of areas! Including California, which we stay for free with my parents and my best friend is able to get us awesome discounts because she works at Disneyland. Being that we are like family and have known each other since 5th grade, this trip to Disneyland is her birthday gift to Kirstyn.
Lastly, I won’t say that I have never tried to make up for the things her dad has or hasn’t done, because that would be a lie. She didn’t pick him, I did. But I can honestly say that I have never tried to bribe her by giving her extravagant gifts. That’s his game, not mine. I can’t afford that. So the next time you think you have me pegged as the mom who is spoiling her daughter to make up for Daddy issues or because she feels like she needs to make up for something. Think again..
~Aggravated Miss
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