No, you don't know...

So, a friend of mine is going through a rough spot right now and I continually hear people telling her that they 'understand what she's going through'. 'They've been there before'. 'They know how she feels.'
While I can totally understand and empathize with people wanting to be there for her and showing their support and care for her, it annoys me that they continually try to tell her that they know what she's going through. With the situation such as it is, they can't! (I can't give details, as it would definitely identify my friend, I can give an example.) I'm a single mother, my parents like to tell me that they know what I'm going through with raising my daughter who is VERY head strung and opionionated (wonder where she gets that from). While I know they have a little bit of understanding (they raised me), but they can't understand completely, because they raised me together and I'm doing this on my own and it's a totally different experience.
Another example, someone who's always had money can't understand how it is to have always gone without. It's just impossible, even if that person is to lose all their money, they will learn the loss of the money, but will never understood what it was to have never had it to begin with.
It is good to care for your friends and family. It is even better to be there for them. But a word to the wise.. You don't have to understand them to do either of those things for them. Listen to them, be a shoulder to cry on for them, help them if you can. But don't tell them you know what they are going through, unless you have had the EXACT same experience. If you were 20 and they are 25, it's different. Believe me.. It is. It is a similar experience, but not the same. you can understand they are going through a tough time, but everyone is made differently.
I say this, as I am often the one people come to with their problems and more often than not it is because they just want someone to listen to THEIR story, not tell them about the experience they had. Just sayin..

Manic Miss